I went to pub quiz in Highgate last week that wasn’t the Prince of Wales. One of the other teams at this heretical quiz had an amusing name, which we steal shamelessly. Fortunately they aren’t here and we get away with this blatant thievery.

The quiz starts off with a nice easy one. What’s the Catalan word for pan? I know that, I’ve been to Catalunya – it’s paella, and we’re off to a good start. There are many “Blue Mosques” in the world, but where’s the one that’s also known as Sultanahmet? I’ve been there as well – it’s Istanbul. We may only be half way through round one, but already I feel that we’re in contention for a long-awaited win.

Round two, question one. Who was arrested in 1994 for the murder of Ronald Goldman? Whenever we don’t have a clue about an answer, we put OJ Simpson, no matter how inappropriate. In this case, OJ is actually the answer, and we can legitimately write him down for once. After two rounds, we’re in a competitive-looking fifth place.

Can we make it into the money? Oli knows that Roddy Doyle wrote the Barrytown Trilogy, and I know that a company called “More Balls Than Most” make juggling balls, and better than just knowing these things is that there are questions in the quiz about them. Then again, we don’t know the four longest serving monarchs after Queen Victoria. OJ Simpson is not one of them unfortunately. At the beginning of the fourth round, we’re in fourth position, just behind the Ian Woan Memorial Team. They have an unshakable reputation for failing to finish in the money, but tonight, somehow, they hold on, and we’re in the horrors of “just outside the money”. Will we ever win again?