Throughout most of this year our team has consisted of only two or three of us. Normally if there’s two of us, humiliation results. With three, we almost inevitably finish fourth. If there are four of us, we can compete for the money. But for a while now we’ve been wondering what has happened to Pete. Since we set the quiz in July he’s gone underground and no-one’s heard a word from him. Tonight he surprises us all by putting in an appearance.

I am late. I miss the first round entirely, but this seems to have done the team no harm as we’re in third. In the second round, all the answers are types of alcohol, and my only contribution is to suggest that a description of a village in Somerset must surely be of Butcombe. It is, we’ve got full marks and we’re in the lead.

The third round answers are all pubs in Highgate. Many regulars don’t live in Highgate and thus don’t go to any Highgate pubs except the Prince of Wales. I used to be one of them but now I’m a local. Unfortunately I’m a local who walks around with his eyes shut – I know where a lot of pubs are but can’t remember for the life of me what most of them are called. Still, I remember that the pubs opposite my flat are the Winchester and the Boogaloo, and this helps us work out which town was called Venta Belgarum, and what Ringo Starr’s biggest solo hit was. But I have completely forgotten what the big pub on the corner down the hill is called, and we end up in joint first.

The fourth round is all about princes of Wales. Edward II was the first, Edward VIII was the penultimate one – this we know, and we manage to drop only one point, but so do our competitors. We’re joint first and there is a tiebreak. What’s the most Oscar nominations anyone has accrued without actually winning one? We follow the average theory and put 14. The other team put 19. The answer is 20. Turns out the other team is Evil Patrick’s, and he rushes around the corner to jeer at us. It’s fair enough – we would have done the same.